Last month I had the chance to go to the ladies tea at my church. My friend had asked me if I wanted to help her decorate a table. Not sure what this entailed I reluctantly said yes. Well turns out her mother has an amazing friend that ended up helping her better than I ever could. When I arrived at the church there were tables set up everywhere! They were decorated so amazingly. Every woman did a great job. I wish now that I would have taken pictures.
Well besides sitting and having fellowship I was able to listen to a sermon. Basically to sum it up the question was "What is stopping you from becoming involved?" and "What is your passion?" I knew exactly what was keeping me from doing things. I wrote that down right away and was happy to throw that excuse away. My passion....I've thought about this for so many years. What plan does God really have for me? Then instantly it came to me. I am here to help struggling mothers. Young struggling moms. I was that young struggling mom once upon a time.
And its not limited to girls that get pregnant right out of high school like me. I think God wants me to help guide them to let them know that its not hopeless. That things will be ok. I struggle now but I know there's a plan. There just has to be.
A little background on my struggle....I was fresh out of high school. I hated my senior year. I had lost so much then that when I finally got away from it I just wanted to have fun. It was a summer of partying and drinking and things that happen inbetween. I was still responsible. I had my own place. I went to work everyday so this must be ok. Well by the end of summer I found myself pregnant. How could this be? I had plans for my life. I was going to go to college and was not following in the steps of the women in my family.
Turns out I had gotten pregnant a week after I graduated. After lots of crying I decided to confirm it. Flipped open the yellow pages and turns out the place I needed to go was on the first page. Tell me thats not the devil trying to work in my life. I felt so alone. At least thats what I believe the devil wanted me to think. He put thoughts in my head that in my heart I knew I could never go thru with but he was really messing with me. So I made an appointment. I went down just to confirm things and see how far I was. I laid on the bed alone. I didnt know what to expect. The ultrasound tech brought in a machine and put some cold gel on my belly. 12 weeks pregnant! I asked if I could see but she wouldnt let me. They are in the market to make money and if you become attached to something so precious how can they make their money. Even though I felt alone God was with me in that room. He let me know that there was just something so wrong about this. I left that place and never looked back. 11 years later I have this really great kid and think back on how crazy my thinking was to believe I was so alone. And there are so many girls that think this way.
So anyways, back to now....a lot of people are doing terrible with the fall of our economy. But life goes on. We still have babies, still have house and car payments but just need a little help to get thru this. My friend had recently found out that God has blessed her with a little bun in the oven. Not even thinking twice I offered anything I could to help her. I didn't realize that this was part of what God wanted me to do. I had the chance again yesterday. I hear people all the time saying that God spoke to them. Why doesn't he talk to me I wondered?? Maybe I wasnt listening but yesterday I heard him loud and clear. I dont want to make it sound like im tooting my own horn but listening to God and doing what he placed on my heart made me feel so good. It made me feel like people could see Him thru me.
I know this blog jumped all over the place but I just felt so inspired to share what God is using me for. :)
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